Resources

Assisted Living

Belmont Village, 3680 N Moorpark Rd, Thousand Oaks, CA 91360 805-496-9301, www.belmontvillage.com

Sunrise Assisted Living, Independent Living, Memory Care, Skilled Nursing, Respite Care Stays, Coordination of Hospice Care; www.sunriseseniorliving.com
Sunrise 3101 Townsgate Road, Westlake Village, CA 91361; 805-319-4446 (East of Westlake Rd.)
Sunrise 20461 Ventura Blvd. Woodland Hills, CA 91364; 818-483-8356 (Btwn DeSoto & Winnetka)
Sunrise 9012 Topanga Canyon Blvd West Hills CA 91304; 818-483-8347 (South of Nordhoff)
Sunrise 190 Tierra Rejada Road Simi Valley CA 93065 805-618-1391 (West of Madera)

Subacute Care

Windsor Terrace of Westlake Village 250 Fairview Road, Westlake CA 91361 805-494-1233 www.windsorcare.com Subacute Care Rehabilitation Service: Physical Therapy, Occupational Therapy, Respiratory Therapy, Speech Therapy, IV Therapy, Would Care, Complex Post-Surgical Needs, Pain Management, Stroke Cardiac and diabetic Care, Respite and short-term care.

Urgent Care

Exer Urgent Care Open 7 days (9AM-9PM); Pharmacy, Lab, Xray; All PPOs and many HMO accepted.
Exer Urgent Care 26777 Agoura Rd, Calabasas 818-880-2225 (Agoura Rd. and Lost Hills Rd)
Exer Urgent Care 701 N Wendy Dr., Newbury Park 805-375-4400 (N. Wendy Dr. & Old Conejo Rd.)

Community Centers

http://wdacs.lacounty.gov/service-locations/

Nutrition

Meals on Wheels, Westlake Village, 805-370-4295 They serve resident of Westlake Village, Agoura Hills, Agoura and Oak Park. They provide hot and cold meals Monday through Friday to the home-bound or temporarily incapacitated. Please call for details on delivery and cost

Caregiving Advice

http://www.mayoclinic.org/healthy-lifestyle/caregivers/in-depth/caring-for-the-elderly/art-20048403

http://www.dementiatoday.com/caring-for-the-elderly-dealing-with-resistance/

http://centralcoastseniors.org/wp-content/uploads/SB-TT-November.pdf

https://www.alternativesforseniors.com/blog/senior-stubbornness/

https://www.sharecare.com/health/managing-changes-aging/elderly-parents-become-stubborn-uncooperative

http://psychsocgerontology.oxfordjournals.org/content/early/2015/01/07/geronb.gbu177.full.pdf

http://www.wikihow.com/Deal-With-Stubborn-People

http://www.lifehack.org/articles/communication/12-ways-deal-with-stubborn-people-and-convince-them-listen.html

Geriatrics

UCLA

What We Do     How We Do It     Senior Care Specialist     “Resources”     Contact Us

Refusal of Medical Care or a Caregiver and What Can Be Done

REFUSAL OF MEDICAL CARE OR A CAREGIVER AND WHAT CAN BE DONE

A shout of “No”, or a polite “No thank you” or maybe silently shaking the head no, these responses indicate that you are the de facto driver of your life. And you can slam on the brakes and abruptly stop medical care. Moreover, you do not have to hire a caregiver notwithstanding the insistence by family and friends. Even if such decisions place you at risk or harm, you because of the right of autonomy can legally refuse in spite of those who object passionately or compassionately. Please understand that a refusal can give you a sense of power and satisfaction, but also realize that it is hard on your family and friends. They love you and find it difficult to have their well-intentioned advice ignored. They may feel that you are unreasonable and stubborn, and you may feel their help is hurried and unnecessary. All they can do is hope and pray that someday, hopefully sooner than later, you take their suggestions. My great uncle Wayne who had gangrene of the foot refused to go to the doctor until it was too late. We cannot force the ones we love to undergo treatment or to accept a caregiver so long as they retain their decision making capacity and understand the consequences of the failure to care. Maybe he didn’t want to be like my great aunt Shobe, his sweet departed wife who had lived most of her later life with an amputated lower leg because of her diabetes. Who knows why, but he refused care and died. So what can we really do? Certainly friends and family can standby for when help is finally requested; but more constructive than “c’est la vie” (French for “that’s life”) is when you and they try to understand why the help is refused.

Understanding why you reject a caregiver or medical care is paramount in maintaining a healthy interfamily relationship. Your adult children are continually learning or have learned another set of heartaches about independence when their own children (your grandchildren) test their adolescent independence by driving too fast, running up their cell phone bill, drinking too much alcohol, and falling in love with an infatuation that leads to a broken heart. But in your case, your adult children are learning with heartache that you are not willing to give up any independence to which you have been accustomed for so long. So what is really happening? Everyone must realize the underlying feelings that are surfacing when help is refused. What you are feeling when you reject a caregiver or medical direction is a sense of power. Yet this is not the same as being empowered because here this emotional feeling of power is masking the undeniable fact that the aging process means a loss of bodily and mental functions, a loss of power, a weaker you.

Aging leads to many mind and body changes and less self-sufficiency; there is no escape. I repeat less self-sufficiency and therefore less independence. Almost everyone readily understands that they are not going to live forever. On the other hand, most of us must undeniably realize too that the end of the journey is not going to be similar to the lights going off in a room after nature flips the switch. The unescapable reality is that the mind and body changes, however gradual or quick that may be. Moreover, these changes are not primarily for the better, but rather things get worse. In fact, we have been so accustomed to the good changes in our early development that growing old could be considered an oxymoron. When we were young, growing a little older implied a lot of good things happening with an actual increase in self-sufficiency. But in growing old, many seniors are surprised that they can no longer do things as quickly, agile or for so long as they once could. These new experiences simultaneously create new and sometimes unpleasant feelings. To fully appreciate the old and new passions awakening in our soul is to accept the aging process and its consequences on our emotional wellbeing. Consequently, less self-sufficiency is a critical fact for you to understand and more importantly before we go any further for you to accept.

Physically, we start to lose our prime around the age range of fifty and sixty. Our body gradually starts to deteriorate as it so happens with all living creatures. In the abstract, it is easy to recognize the consequences of aging as if they happen to everyone else but you. But in your very own life it takes more effort and an honest realization that you are not as young as you once were. Your body undergoes changes just as it has since you were born, except that later in life they are not for the better. The hair begins to thin and gray out. The skin becomes less firm and you get more wrinkles. Your muscles become less strong and more susceptible to injury. Your body does not heal as quickly as before. Your metabolism slows down and you get fat. The bones become brittle and fragile due to osteoporosis. Your heart begins to react to the effects of hardening arteries. Reaction time diminishes and stamina falls. You may need to get reading glasses and hearing aids to alleviate any loss of vision and hearing. And other physical problems just continue to mount. You just are not what you use to be in your prime. Remember what we discussed at the beginning concerning the geriatric evaluations and the nine domains for examination. Our true feelings about diminishing body functions must be fully appreciated when these changes begin to affect our self-sufficiency.

But not only is there physical deterioration, but also mental degradation occurs as we grow older. We are not that quick to solve problems. Our memory becomes worse and worse. Again, you just are not what you use to be in your prime. Our true emotions about diminishing mental functions should be self-realized in their totality or else we are being delusional, another mental health problem. The mental deterioration from possibly vascular disease along with the declining physical functions impacts our power to care for ourselves and affects our psychological wellbeing.

In turn, this less and less self-sufficiency as you grow older brings a whole lot of emotional baggage. Frustration appears when there is a diminished independence, which is a loss in the ability to do the things that you used to be able to do. Other feelings may include depression over the same or different losses. There can be anxiety because you lose privacy when a caregiver enters your home and it feels like an invasion of your sanctuary. The growing number of medications that you are taking may upset your equilibrium and you ask “What is happening to me?” A deep sense of isolation could feel overwhelming if the keys of the car are taken away. Fear of being put into a nursing home could lead to outright hostility when the family just broaches the subject of your future living arrangement. When you go into a room and forget what you wanted could trigger the emotion that you are losing your mind. Being a wife or husband to a spouse with Alzheimer can be tremendously stressful and lead to caregiver burnout. Being a son or daughter to a parent with dementia is also very trying on one’s nerves and patience and can bring a lot of heartache. Or for you, going to a doctor and being diagnosed with dementia or Alzheimer would truly feel the worst. And then there is the number one fear, the fear of dying, whenever you have a new or more intense ache or pain. All these unhealthy situations are frightening to any normal person as cancer would be to a younger person. It is natural to feel bad because you are human – yes human! You are not a machine, but a person with a full range of emotions including frustration, depression, hopelessness, anxiety, anger and fear. These emotional changes and their subsequent psychological adjustments can be either slow or quick just as the changes of the mind and body functions

Because aging in seniors adversely affects the body and mind, the negative feelings due to less self-sufficiency should be addressed too when they materialize. Most seniors do recognize them in some form or another, but their acceptance is much harder to handle. It is the real and absolute test of whether you are coping with the aging process when you are able to deal with the unpleasant emotions in a positive way.

We have natural coping mechanism for frustration, depression, anxiety, anger and fear similar to our physical coping mechanisms. For example, with poor hearing we can compensate by raising the sound on the television. Another way to manage these disagreeable feelings can be called “Blowing off steam” through exercise. However, many of these coping mechanisms are bad and some very unhealthy. Anxiety can lead to avoidance of the doctor office. Depression can lead to overeating, undereating or more sleeping and therefore poor nutrition and less exercise. You deal with frustration by throwing the remote control or slamming down the phone and breaking them. Not only does that cause physical damage to your property, but also in the case of the phone it ruins your communication with the outside world or with respect to the television’s remote control it hinders your primary method of entertainment. Maybe the latter is a good thing because now you have to physically get out of the chair and turn the channels. Anyhow, Together Helping Seniors is about compassionate care and helping you deal with any unhealthy emotions due to aging in a positive way.

Our services can be as simple as going to the doctor with you in order to minimize your anxiety. Also, by suggesting products, we can lessen such feelings as insecurity and panic. For example, by wearing a monitor around your neck, you can quickly contact emergency services in the event of a fall. Additionally by our product suggestions and the service referrals, we supplement the compassionate care that we ourselves would like and enjoy as we journey with you. And through a very systematic problem solving process, we focus on you!

To control and mitigate the negative effects that are detrimental to your feelings, a senior care specialist uses a systematic approach in selecting the right products and services. First, a senior care specialist listens emphatically to your concerns about any emotional challenges that can impact your psychological wellbeing. Second, we assess the situation and provide excellent product recommendations and or service referrals. A senior care specialist has extensive knowledge and expertise to understand and fix the problem. Third, we empower you by actually contacting the experts and persistently following up on our referrals. And fourth and more importantly, Together Helping Seniors provides emotional advice and support concerning any unhealthy and unpleasant feelings that you may be experiencing. This systems approach with the all-important human elements of compassion, empathy and love is one of our keys to success.

We firmly believe that with professional help, you can be assured of accepting medical care and a caregiver. For example, we connect you with an audiologist who specializes in hearing aids in order to improve your hearing and minimize your frustration of missing out on conversations. Moreover, we know psychologist who advise older people about the stress of being a senior caregiver to their spouse. We can also put you in contact with support groups for loved ones with Alzheimer. We can recommend a security company that can provide 24 hour monitored protection to relieve your fear about any break-ins and intruders. A caregiver can minimize your anxiety of staying at home alone. We can refer you to a geriatric psychologist who can help you with the more severe forms of depression and anxiety so that it can be treated with medication. Whatever it takes, we know the resources, and we treat you dignity, respect and above all love. Our support and empathy cannot be overemphasized. A senior care specialist will be your special envoy to help with frustration, depression, anger, stress and anxiety. You are at a point where family and friends have tried, but advice coming from professionals is more likely to be accepted because we have years of the right experience.

 

Price Plans

Platinum: Involvement in the implementation of our action plan by going with our client to our network of reputable contacts, by supervising the agreed upon work as requested by the client and the purchasing of the agreed upon products and services in addition to all of the Gold benefits.

Gold: The creation of an action plan with verified reputable contacts, a scheduling template / calendar of appointments with any available discounts and promotions based upon our referrals, and a list of supplies that meet our criteria for being senior friendly in addition to all of the Silver benefits.

Silver: An intense dissemination of a wide range of information with a systematic itemization of essential senior living and care caregiver advice.

Distant Caregivers/Families: For those Adult caregivers who live far away, we will provide local suppor and onsite administration. This is facilitated by remote monitoring, overnight delivery of documents, etc.

Yearly Subscription: For continuous coverage that provides you with the constant assurance in the event of changes in the living situations, a change in services provided by utilities’ or vendor arrangements, failure of a products, we are here.

Quarterly Benefit: For the first few months, things happen and people change their mind so you can extend the benefits of either the Gold or Platinum plans.

All Day Seminars: We hold all day seminars for groups who are interested in coming together to learn about all the possibilities of senior living and caring and can share the savings from group participation.

100% Money Back Guarantee: We stand behind our services and products and feel that your trust in us is matched by our integrity.

Retainer: We request a retainer fee because we want to be assured of your commitment to the process, and more importantly for you to know that our time with you is a serious obligation to which your time and attention is paramount in order to have a successful outcome.

 

Medication

medication take the medication, alarm; remember if they took it by having a pill box, is it too expensive or the side effect uncomfortable, taking with food and they are not, cut down on the number of times per day and the number of medications.

Our Values

Our values are important because they indicate what is vital and most of all foremost in our commitment to you. We have narrowed them down to five in order to maintain a laser focus and also to be accountable to you in everything that we do. Our ardent wish is to align these values with what you would consider most important in a senior care specialist. Moreover, by keeping five important values, we have not only given this considerable thought but also firmly hold that these top five values are manageable in everything that say and do. We aim to walk the talk. Maintaining our strong reputation is strengthened by having these values permeate throughout our company. Let us break them down.

1.) We empower you to live long and healthy and also to preserve function. We want you to feel strong. And that powerful feeling arises from providing you with reliable resources, expert knowledge and a helping hand. You wish to have longevity with an excellent quality of life. We sincerely believe that life is not an either one or the other approach, but more like living your life to the fullest for the longest possible time. Maintaining a healthy lifestyle leads to enjoyment. 


2.) Your wishes and preferences are our goals and direction. We actively listen to what you want and like. We ask for your feedback at all times so that we assure you and ourselves that we heading in the right direction. You are our primary focus, and we aim to meet and exceed your expectations. That is, we believe that there is no generic one fits all solution for all seniors or a universal approach that we mold you into like a cookie cutter approach, but rather we treat each client individually with their unique goals in the forefront.


3.) Our integrity impels us to treat you with dignity, respect and above all love.
4.) Support and empathy cannot be overemphasized.
5.) Seniors have a wealth of skills, talents, histories, and stories that makes our job so enjoyable